Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Pray for us?

I don't think I've ever asked for prayer on my blog before. But one of the things I learned this past weekend was that people really do care, even if they have their own issues going on in their lives. And I learned to lean not so much on myself and my own faith, but to also reach out when I'm struggling.

I mentioned in my last post about the terrible night that we had with Stephen on Sunday night. Monday night was better, but only because I did everything I could to keep the stress level down, even if it meant doing things I would not normally do. But I felt we were in survival mode. Last night, my in-laws offered to take the kids so we could get a little more rest. Especially since Sweet Hubby had to work today. Starting tonight, I think we're going to take a "2 night on, 2 night off" strategy, so Sweet Hubby and I can both get a couple of nights rest until we get this sorted out. On an up note, I just put everyone down for a nap and Stephen laid down without much of a fuss. Yesterday at naptime, he started the same antics as he pulled the night before. But today, he made sure several times that I wasn't going to take a nap. He asked me to turn on my TV (our rooms are right across the hall from each other) and asked if I would get on the computer instead of laying down to take a nap. That seemed to be important to him. I don't usually let my kids dictate to me what to do, but he asked sweetly and it seemed important, so I told him I would. He doesn't normally take a nap, but since his night sleep has been suffering (and we'll be having a late bedtime tonight because we have church) I've been trying to get him to nap to make up for what he's missing at night. I realize it could be an ugly cycle, but again, we're in survival mode.

The thing is, it's not just his nights that are out of whack. His entire attitude has changed. Part of me thinks that he might be reacting to the fact that I was gone for 4 days (and on top of that, we couldn't even talk during that time). But he's never really been a child who reacts negatively (especially THIS negatively) to change. So that might not even be it. He's been more and more disrespectful, disobedient, whiny, impatient, uncooperative and almost angry. And like I mentioned before, he doesn't seem to care about consequences. Perhaps this all stemming from him being tired.

Anyway, I'm really struggling with this because I feel like this is a reflection of MY parenting. He's never been like this. And I don't know what to do. I'm trying to just love him through this, but I don't want it to seem like I'm giving him permission to act so ugly to all of us.

So pray for Stephen, please. Pray that whatever is going on in his little heart will come out so we can deal with it. Pray that he knows that he's loved and safe here. Pray for Sweet Hubby and I that we can have the wisdom to handle these issues and that we can do so in a way that brings all of us closer to God. Pray that the nighttime issues resolve quickly because we all know how the bad stuff gets magnified if we don't have enough sleep. And pray for me that I can get through this without losing my cool and without feeling like a complete failure.

Thanks. It feels good just to get that little bit off my chest.


Kate said...

I am praying for all of you. ((hugs))

K in the Mirror said...

Absolutely, prayers going your way.

Just so you know, when I was 2 1/2 my mom sent me off to Gram's for the weekend and cried for 2 hours straight because I was so horrible and she'd failed as a mother. And it all turned out okay in the end. :)

And I hear 5 is the new 2, actually. Tons of people with 5 year olds are saying they had no idea it was such a hard age. I really don't think it's anything you're doing or not doing.

KatieBug said...

I will be praying for you , too. I am having a lot of the same issues with FireCracker lately. If I ask him to anything at all he growls and starts screaming about how stupid I am and then punches and headbutts everyone. NO fun.

Jaime said...

(((HUGS))) and prayers. :)

jenn said...

prayers coming from Eastern Canada :)

chewymama said...

hang in there dear friend. i love reading of your sincerity and desire to do what is best ... Ive spent many nights in dd's room and I know its a sacrafice but hopefully it will all be worth it!