Monday, May 05, 2008

Decent sleep=better perspective

So I wanted to update you with what's been going on with Stephen and his sleep issues. Thankfully, most of the behavior issues have resolved (I think I've mentioned that before), even though we still have outbursts every now and then.

The sleep issues have NOT resolved, however, he's not having the outbursts at night anymore.

As I mentioned previously, after they broke the air mattress (and for the helpful commenter telling me where I could get a new one, I DON'T need a new one but thanks for the "help") I started sleeping with Zachary. That got old fairly quickly and then it suddenly occurred to me, "Hey! HE'S the one that needs to be in the same room with me. Why should I be the one to be uncomfortable trying to make that happen?" So I made him a little pallet in our room (from the day of his birth I've been adamant against sharing my room with a child, but I had to surrender a little) and told him that if he woke and felt the need to wake me up to go into his room, then he would just have to lay on our floor, because I would not be sleeping in his room. He wasn't too keen on the idea and told me that he was going to hit me with his pillow. Nice. And true to his word, I woke at 5:30am (that's the latest he's ever slept without waking since all this started) to a slap in the stomach with a pillow. I convinced him somehow to go back to bed for a few more hours, and he did. He got a lot of praise, a new movie, and a piece of candy AND a breakfast date with his Grammy the next morning. Obviously though, all that didn't matter because he hasn't done that again since. But he has been using the pallet, has even said it was comfy, and I've finally convinced him to not wake me up when he comes in (he still does wake me up, but he tries not to). So I've been sleeping in my bed!! YAY! And then I had a playdate with a mom that I really really like and she told me that all three of her boys sleep in her room (and she's pregnant! go figure!). That made me feel better about our little arrangement. I'm hoping that eventually, he'll just quit getting up and coming in our room.

And on an ego-stroking note, the other night, I was praying with the kids before bed. I said something that I say a lot in my prayers: "Help me be the best mommy I can be for them." I finished up the prayer, we all said amen and Stephen crawled up in my lap. He said, "Mommy, you don't have to pray to be the best mommy. You already are."

*sigh* Have I mentioned he's my favorite?

I'm kidding!! Totally kidding.

But it was the best thing anyone's said to me in a long time and he was totally my favorite in that moment. He was completely sincere and it's fascinating to me that I can be so crabby at times, yell at times, fall short and make him mad and he still thinks that I'm the best. He knows I'm not perfect. And he's taught me that being the best and being perfect are two separate things. I can be my best by doing the best I can with what I have and by continually striving to be better. But I'll never be perfect. And that's okay. Heck, that's freakin' GREAT! How boring must perfect be?


K in the Mirror said...

I fought it for months, and finally gave up. G sleeps in our room pretty much every night- when C's gone she sneaks in his side of the bed, and when he's home she sleeps on a cot at the foot of the bed. I still don't like it, but it's made nights much easier. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Plus, on the rare occasion she sleeps through and doesn't come in my room, I have to change wet sheets in the morning. The silver lining is that she knows she has to pee before she's allowed to get in my bed. :)

chewymama said...

JJ still sleeps with me at night. I keep joking that the new baby is just going to have to sleep in his room b/c she'll still be there ... may be true though!

amazing what some sleep can do. im so glad you found something that works! I may try moving her to her own bed on the floor ...hmmmm.....

and VERY sweet comment from stephen. I like to think that at those moments the Lord is just speaking right through them to our hearts - just when you think you cant take anymore.

im having a day from hell so my kids are watching tv. all 3 of them. ugh. i hate these days!