One

My Dear Sweet Marc-Adam,

Today my dear, at precisely 5:57pm, you will be one year old. And what a year it has been! It's all been a bit of blur for me. I've heard it said that the third baby grows up the fastest. That's not something I truly understood until I blinked and am now celebrating your first year. I feel like I'm trying to catch the memories of your first year before they're gone.



Before you were born, I always felt like something was missing. Your brothers are wonderful and I love them just as much as I love you (but of course, I love all of you differently), but I felt like a there was still a little part of my heart that was empty. A part that your brothers or even your Daddy couldn't fill. And then when I found out that you were growing inside me, I missed you. I had never even met you, at that point I didn't even know your name and I missed you.

And then you were born. And I found out that that little empty spot in my heart was Marc-Adam shaped.



You've completed this life that your Daddy and I have built, even if only for a while. And I love watching the little person you are becoming. Watching your personality grow and develop. You're boisterous. You don't miss a beat with those rowdy brothers of yours. You love getting right in the middle of the action and sometimes it seems you have no fear. I have no worries of you 'holding your own' when you get a little bigger and those inevitable brotherly fights happen. And as is normal with the "baby" of the family, you love being the center of attention. And you love having a captive audience. You have no shame in clapping for yourself when you know you've done something great and even at your young age, the pride is written all over your face.

You are so loving. You've learned to give kisses. Those drooly, slobbery, open-mouthed kisses that I will treasure for as long as I live. I love it when you get a little sleepy and you find a shoulder (usually mine or your Papa's) to snuggle into and you go right to sleep. No fighting it, no protesting. Within minutes, you're sound asleep making those precious little snorty noises you make when you're sleeping really well.

You're not talking quite yet. Every once in a great while I can get a mama or dada out of you, but deep down I know those words have no meaning to you. But I'm not worried about it. Brother Stephen didn't talk until he was almost 18 months and, well, now he's your hero. You're signing pretty well, and that helps keep most of the frustration (yours AND mine) away for now. Sometimes, though, you have to yell at me just to get my attention long enough so that you can sign at me. And for that I'm a little sorry. Your brothers are just so distracting sometimes.

And speaking of brothers...it's amazing to watch you watch Stephen and Zachary. It's in your eyes...you want to be a big boy so badly. To run and jump and chase. You try and your brothers usually include you. They love you so much. They're always so sweet with you. You usually can't get a good meal without one of them trying to cover you with kisses or play with your "cute little toesies", as Stephen calls them. Stephen calls you "Cutie Pie" or "Sweety Cheeks" and the best we can get out of Brother Z is "Mart-Admom". But one day they'll get it right. I can't wait to hear what you call them.

Right now, you LOVE crayons. You love getting the big box of crayons right in front of you so you can "dig in". You dump them all over the floor, pick them up, chew on them, put them back in the box and then dump them on the floor again. And now that we have the nice, new floors, you like to color on them. Even when Mommy puts that silly paper in front of you, you just shove it aside to color on the great expanse of floor. The same goes for the dry-erase markers. You'd rather color all over your own face (or mine) than color on the white board. Although, you do like coloring on the white board. You've found that the best place to color is right over someone else's masterpiece.

You are persistent. You just don't give up and I can't wait to see what that does for you when you get a little older. You don't let anything get in your way and when you want something, you don't give up without a fight. Right now, and probably for a few more years, you're driving your mama crazy with that, but I have a feeling that quality is going to take you places.

I love your smile, my boy. You have a crooked little smile. Just like your Daddy's. You're the only boy to have picked up that trait from him. And, oh, how it makes my heart smile. As of right now, you have 7 teeth. 4 on top, 3 on the bottom, which makes your smile even more "uneven". You've completely changed how I feel about symmetry. :)



I can't wait to see where your second year will take us, honey. I can't wait to hear your first words, to see you running through the backyard with your brothers, to watch you see things for the first time. Christmas is coming up and you were just a wee little baby last year. I look forward to your reactions to everything this year.

So as your first year comes to an end, I want you to know that your Daddy and I love you more than you will ever be able to comprehend....until of course, you have a child of your own snuggle into your neck and drift off to sleep.

To many more years, my love,
Your mama