Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Pink or blue

Before we announced our newest pregnancy (and we still haven't told everyone), people would see us with all the kids and ask a very specific question: "Are you done, or are you going to try for that girl?"

Um. Are those my only options?

I really always wanted to actually say that, but I never had the guts, so I just said, "Neither. We're not necessarily done and we're not going to be trying for a girl." Like the gender of our children has anything to do with how many children we have.

They'd always say, "Oh. That's nice."

I've tried to imagine what it would've been like to have a girl thrown in earlier, like as a first or second child and the honest truth is, even with "mixed" kids, I still think we'd want a large family ("large" being a relative term).

People say now, "You hoping for that girl?" Right in front of my boys. I answer, "Nope! I love my boys!"

Again, the honest truth is I want both. I would love to have a daughter. I would love to have that relationship. I would love to have the pinks and purples and hairbows and baby dolls. But on the other hand, I've got a great thing going with my all-boy household and heart. The thought of holding another son close to me nearly brings me to tears (and the good kind of tears, not the "oh crap another boy" kind). I feel so honored to be the mother of my sons.

So, I think when we find out if our newest little addition has indoor or outdoor plumbing, I'll be excited (the phrase "over the moon" comes to mind). But I'm also going to grieve for what we didn't get.

7 comments:

kel said...

Good for you! I want that too- having one of each, people do the same thing to me. They assume that I must be done because I have the "perfect" family and having another baby would throw off the balance.

I think it's a boy. But you know that if it's a girl, you HAVE to go for a fifth just so people don't think you got that girl and stopped. :)

Mommy Daisy said...

I understand this completely. In the end it doesn't really matter. Boys or girls...whatever you have makes your family what it is. I love that.

KatieBug said...

Maybe you will get a nice set of boy/girl twins! :)

When we had CreamPuff SO many people said "Oh! You finally got that girl!" Like the ONLY reason one might have more than 2 boys is to get the girl. Now when people ask what I have and I say 3 boys and a girl they usually say "At least you got the girl!!" and I reply "AND 3 really nice boys!!" ;)

Jana said...

Ugh. I can't stand it when people say things like that. Like my mother-in-law who suggested we have a fourth so that we can have two boys and two girls to be "balanced." Whatever.

LaughterThoughts said...

People always asked me what I want-and when "it doesn't matter" wasn't a sufficient answer- cuz you've got to have a preference- I tell them that what I'm really hoping for is a pony. That usually shuts them up pretty quick. :)

kel said...

Ha Ha! A pony! That's such a great answer! :)

chewymama said...

the more kids you have the weirder (and ruder!) the comments get. people just dont think. I hear "wow you have your hands full" ever time I leave the house! Its a neat thought being the mom of only boys isnt it? I was ready for that too. But you know I love my girly-girl now. Its a win-win situation! :)