Thursday, February 07, 2008


Thanks for all your kind words from this post. It really did help me feel better. Sometimes it's better just to know I'm not alone. Not that I want anyone else to feel this way, but it's comforting to know it's normal that I feel this way and it's not just because I'm crazy or because I really am inadequate. The feeling of isolation is the worst sometimes for me, so it helps that even though I still feel isolated, I'm not really alone.

It seems like I've been running on all cylinders lately. I used to go to bed at 9pm or so and get up at 7 or 8am. Recently, I'm lucky to get to sleep by 11pm or midnight. That was fine for a few days, but after a couple weeks, I really started to feel it. And it kinda feels like I'm on a hamster wheel...running and running till I'm out of breath and need some water only to look behind me and see that I've gotten nowhere--the house is still a mess, the kids are still fighting and Sweet Hubby's on his way home.

Yesterday afternoon, I had folded laundry, run to the store with the kids, read with the kids and then started dinner. I had spent a couple hours in the kitchen preparing dinner and getting ready for today. By the time dinner was finally done (and it was SO good!), I realized it was just about bedtime, so I gave the kids their sleepytime tea, cleaned up dinner quickly, got them dressed in jammies and off to bed (with an extra chapter in the book I'm reading with them and an extra snuggle since Daddy wasn't home). As soon as I was done with them, I sat down with the neighbor girl for an hour and a half to help her with her math. I was feeling good about everything I had gotten done, but I was feeling whipped. Sweet Hubby then comes home and I remember that I forgot to take his movie back to the Red Box...he wasn't happy. He then lets me know that I left his favorite jammie pants in the washing machine. I wanted to yell at him so badly, but I just calmly apologized and went back to focusing on helping the neighbor girl (I really should give her a better name than that) convert millimeters to meters. That's all I could do at the time.

So I'm trying to take it one task (or sometimes one second) at a time. I'm not sure if this is all because of my stage in life and my circumstances (which means it may get better at some point) or if it's me. I suppose it could be both.

Anyway, thanks again. I love my bloggy circle! Bloggy hugs all around.


chewymama said...

that happens all the time with dh and I too -im so proud of all I did that day and exhausted and he will act even slightly disappointed with something I did and Im crushed. I know he doesnt mean to and I understand usually but its still hard. I am VERY impressed with how you handled things with "hubby"....add that to your list of accomplishments for the day :) {{hugs}}

Kate said...

Glad everybody helped. You're really doing an amazing job.

I'm the one who says things to my hubby. And then I feel like poo because he does 7 zillion things for us, and really, so I'm going to focus on the ONE THING he didn't do. yet? Sigh.

I loved teaching converting metric units--just move the decimal point! It's great for someone so arithmetically challenged--I can deal with 10s! =)