Sunday, December 23, 2007

Just a little perspective

It's been over a week since I've blogged. How can that be? So much has been happening and life's been so busy. I have so many blog topics running rampant in my head, I don't know if I'll ever be able to put it all here.

The main thing that's been going on this last week has been family related. Sweet Hubby's 80 year old grandmother had been very sick. He went to be with her earlier this week. She passed away Thursday morning with most of her family by her side. From what he says, it was truly an amazing experience to be with her in that time. Just a few hours before she passed away, she started saying things like, "Do you hear the bells?" and commenting about the color of the clouds and about the people that were "there" waiting for her and cheering her on. It really helped put this season into perspective....while most people were out stressing about gifts or travel or food, Sweet Hubby and I were able to celebrate a woman who led a good and long life. We've been able to really celebrate Christmas, knowing what we have to look forward to, thanks to that Baby in the hay. I'm not exactly sure what I believe about the afterlife, but it's a glorious thought to think about his grandmother meeting her Creator and Savior. I had a terrible time actually being sad about it all. I had a hard time not smiling because I was so happy for her (which made me feel a bit like a freak, but that's a whole 'nother blog post).

On to other matters not nearly as deep or spiritual....I have to say I'm a little bitter. And I KNOW that's not how I should be feeling. And maybe I shouldn't even be blogging this because I'm not sure who all reads this, but here goes....I made the gifts for Sweet Hubby's side of the family Christmas (not the same side who just lost their mother/grandmother). I put my heart and soul (not to mention time and effort) in to their gifts. They thanked me for them, and maybe I'm not being fair because they don't know how much I poured myself in to their gifts, but they didn't seem very excited or that they liked their gifts very much. Perhaps that's just the way they are, and I don't know what I expected their reactions to be, but it seems they could have acted like they cared a little more. I was really excited about their gifts, I wish they were, too. Now I'm wondering if I could have done something else that they would have liked better.....

And now I'm tired and off to bed. Christmas Eve will be a busy day for us, although Sweet Hubby will have to work most of it. I may never get used to him working so much over the holidays.


Kate said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I totally understand what you mean about being glad about her being in heaven. My grandma just went home and I am so sad for me, but so comforted that she's no longer sick and she's finally where she wanted to be.

I can relate to the present dilemma. I want people to get excited enough and worry and... your very wise cousin talked me down the other day when I was stressing that I didn't have enough. Her response? Only Jesus got three gifts. :) It is hard to give things and just let them go.

Anonymous said...

Oh I love what your sweet hubby's grandmother said about getting cheered on! I'm reading a book right now called Things Unseen and it's all about being focused on heaven and how heaven and Jesus are waiting for His children and how they are all up there cheering us on and can't wait for us to get to heaven. So, even though I don't know you and your family I am feeling at peace for your husbands grandmother and trying to feel a little piece of the joy that everyone there feels. it's neat to think that even though you and I have only met in cyberspace we have people we love that just maybe hang out together in heaven now that they have passed. and that some sweet day, we'll all be there. All the bloggers that love Jesus will meet someday in heaven. Anyway, I'll stop rambling and just say thanks for posting that reminder about better things to come. A place where Jesus will be so pleased with what we did for Him even if relatives cared not for our efforts ;)