For real!

*When I came back to read this post to Hubby this evening, I realized that the text was broken. It must've been because I just copied and pasted straight out of the e-mail. I think I've fixed it now. Sorry about that.*

My dad forwarded this to me in an e-mail this morning. I was laughing so hard, I had tears and had to quit reading at one point. I e-mailed him back and told him it was like someone followed me around yesterday and wrote down everything I thought about. Ok, so some of it's not stuff I actually think about, but a lot of it is, and it's still hilarious! I did delete a few because they weren't entirely appropriate for what I've got going on the blog here. And just FYI, there are still some words or phrases that aren't appropriate for little eyes that can read.

Random Thoughts of the Day:

* I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.


* More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.


* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.


* Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction
from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch
or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that
no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching
directions on the sidewalk.


* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.


* The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.


* Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix
the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to
fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just
figured it out. Today's kids are soft.


* There is a great need for sarcasm font.


* Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw
it.


* I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right
parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a
millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really,
really gets it.


* How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?


* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.


* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.


* The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish
a text.


* Was learning cursive really necessary?


* Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to
say".


* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.


* Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.


* My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads.
Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired
about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy,
bro.


* Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I
hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".


* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear what they said?


* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to
prevent a **** from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!


* While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.


* MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.


* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.


* I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.


* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.


* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.


* Bad decisions make good stories.


* Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile
is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red
Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!


* Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?


* If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.


* Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a
problem....


* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.


* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want
to have to restart my collection.


* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going
to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.


* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I
did not make any changes to.


* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.


* I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if
I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's
only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we
still be friends after this?'


* While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China
and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that
when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.


* I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away?


* I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.


* When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't
already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.


* I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then
I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.


* As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.


* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.


* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.


* Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to
with it.


* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I’d bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every
time...


* My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?


* It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.


* I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.


* I think the freezer deserves a light as well.


* I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.


* The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone
at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and
then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require
such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s
nothing like being made to feel like a fat b@st@rd before dinner.

Dear Evie,

It is wise, generally speaking, to not quickly turn your head as I'm trying to kiss your cheek. Because then, somehow, I simultaneously kiss your slobbery open mouth and poke you in the eye with my nose. And then you cry.

So don't do that.

Glad we could clear that up.

Love,
Mom

I really do love my children

I've recently started feeling kinda guilty about our choices of names for our kids. Don't get me wrong, we love the names and we feel we chose the right name for each child, but we didn't exactly make it easy on them.

I think Zachary is the only one that has a semi-common name with a very common spelling. However, there has been a handful of times since he was born that someone has spelled it Zachery (Although, to me, that spelling changes the pronunciation into something silly).

Stephen has to spell his name wherever he goes. Even when people get the "ph" right, sometimes they still misspell it Stephan.

Marc-Adam....well, let's just forget the hyphen for just a second. Even if that was a concept that everyone could understand, the spelling of Marc still throws people off. And people still call him just Marc. Which is weird to me. Add in the hyphen and I wouldn't blame the child if he hated me when he was older.

And poor Evie. Her name is more often mispronounced than pronounced correctly. We've gotten Geneva, Guinevere, Geneve....it's a beautiful name, just not common enough for people to understand.

The problem with giving names that aren't terribly common is that many people have no idea how to pronounce or spell them.

What have I done?

It's funny 'cause it's true

Sweet Hubby and I caught this guy on TV tonight, and when he started talking about IKEA, I told Hubby, "That's so true, remember the bunk beds?" Our boys have IKEA bunk beds that we've had to put together a couple of different times. And then the guy started talking about bunk beds.



We laughed ourselves silly.

Must share!

Evie had her first photo shoot today...we got a deal with a photographer wanting to expand her portfolio, so this shoot was free! I think we'll be inviting her back for a paid session to take shots of all 4 of our kids. She was great!

So, she sent me the link to a couple of the shots on her blog. They are so precious. If it's possible, I think these pictures make our girl look even prettier! I can't quit looking at them! Check it out!

And now, here's Zachary with the weather.

Yesterday, we had a heckuva storm system come through. It interfered with naptime and scared the bejeezus out of Marc-Adam. I was wondering how long the storm was going to last, but Sweet Hubby was asleep and the computer is in our room. With M-A attached to me, there was no way I'd be able to sneak in to check the radar...if a thunder clap hit, M-A would scream and even with ear plugs in, I knew that would wake hubby up (turns out, it woke him up anyway, even from the other room). Anyway, so I waited patiently until 4pm when the first round of local news broadcasts came on. I convinced the kids that they could watch Electric Company after I was done watching the weather, and finally sat down to see what we were in for that afternoon and evening (I was just praying that it would pass through before bedtime). 30 seconds after the weather started on the news, the storm knocked the satellite out. I started fussing about how I had waited and now wouldn't get to watch the weather. Zachary comes and stands in front of the TV and says, "Mama, I can do the weather for you!" At first I didn't understand what he meant, but I said okay.

He proceeds to point at different spots on the (now black-screened) TV and says, "It's raining here and here. And here's Cypress. It's going to be 50 degrees for 50 more minutes."

Honestly, it was just as helpful as most of the weather people on TV.

Some Easter humor

Just for fun, here are my absolute FAVE knock-knock jokes:

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Ether.

Ether who?

Ether bunny!


Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Samoa.

Samoa who?

Samoa ether bunnies!


Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Estelle.

Estelle who?

Estelle more ether bunnies!


Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Consumption.

Consumption who?

Consumption be done about all these ether bunnies??

Now available at your local convenience store!

Stephen ran some errands with my dad the other day while we were visiting my folks. After they came home, my mom and I were chatting with him about what they did and where they went. He told us they went to the mega-convenience store near their house and my mom asked him what they needed there. He tried several times to get the words out, but his little tangue got all tungled tongue got all tangled and this was all he could manage:

"Gice and @ss."

He knew as soon as he said it that it wasn't right.

It sounded like he said, "Guys and @ss."

Ahem.

"Ice and gas?" we asked.

"YES! Yes. ICE and GAS!"

Proof there are kids at my house

This is what greeted me when I crawled in to bed at 11pm last night.


So of course I had to get a picture. :)

Time for a belly pic

I'm not sure I've posted any belly pics this time around, and I'm bored tonight (NOTHING on DVR and nothing on TV), so I thought I'd post a picture of me and Evie at 32 weeks 5 days. It's sort of a sorry picture, but it's the best I could do on my own.

Check out the google symbol today...

...if you have kids or enjoy a good Eric Carle book.

You're welcome.

Entry 4,137 of Things I Never Thought I'd Say

There was a particular incident this week in which one of my children provoked me to say:

"How do you get your tongue stuck to the toilet paper?"

Lofty Ambitions

At the lunch table a little bit ago, Sweet Hubby and I were having a discussion about the company he used to work for and how things have gone down hill since he left. We talked about that job and this new one and how things are so much better...

Just about then, Stephen interjected: "You know what I want to be when I get a job? A movie director!!"

And just as excited about his vocational ambitions, Zachary yells out "I want to be the DirecTV guy!!"

My children, they reach for the stars. Or the satellites as it may be.

I'm not sure if he means the guy who drives around town in the DirecTV van or some other DirecTV guy.

After Sweet Hubby and I had a good laugh, we looked at Marc-Adam, who was licking his plate, and asked what he wanted to be.

"A cat!"

That's a goal that will take a lot of hard work to achieve.

Just the kind of twisted humor I needed this morning.

This is really funny, if you have a weird sense of humor like me. I wish I were funny enough to come up with that myself.

Honestly.

After a playdate we had this afternoon, Stephen was recounting how many pets his new friend had. He then announced that while he really wanted a dog, he also thought a guinea pig would be nice. Zachary asked him what a guinea pig is and Stephen replied:

"Well. It's kinda like a rat...just a little bit cuter."

Yes, my dear, just a tiny bit cuter. But not enough to convince me we should get one.

Delurk, you lurkers!! There's something in it for you!

So I just found out from Mommy Daisy that today is National Delurking Day! I was wondering when it is and so I'm excited that it's today.

Sooooo.....are you a lurker? Do you read and run? Do I have no idea that you even read my blog?? Well! Now I want to know! I'd love to see who all reads my blog, and I know there are some mysteries out there because I check my sitemeter.

If you read here and never (or rarely) comment, come out today, just this once and leave me a comment to let me know you're here. In fact, I think I'm going to make it interesting by offering a prize! My regular readers and commenters are welcome to join in, too.

Leave me a comment by 8AM CST tomorrow morning, and I'll enter your name in a drawing for a $10 gift card of your choice (assuming that it's a place that we have here in South Texas). One comment/entry per person.

Good luck, and I can't wait to "see" you!

Anatomy lessons

The kids stayed the night with my in-laws last night and my MIL relayed this little gem to me this morning.

She said that all the kids had piled up in bed with her when they woke up (too early) this morning. They were flip-flopping around and when they finally got settled, Stephen said, "Zachary? Would you please take your knee out of my thorax?"

The Genevieve Collection

So our little girl is already starting to have a better wardrobe than her mama. I figured that would happen eventually (it wouldn't be too hard to accomplish), I just didn't anticipate it would happen so soon. So here's what she has so far (I apologize for the poor quality of the pictures).





Here's what she's coming home from the hospital in that her daddy bought her:


And just for fun, here are two more pairs of shoes (I still didn't get one cute pair of shoes in this shot, but they're pictured in the first picture in top left corner):


Believe it or not, only the shoes and 3 of the outfits and the onesie are the only things that were bought brand new. We found a baby resale shop that has amazing clothes at even more amazing prices. Several of the things still had brand new tags and we haven't bought anything from there for more than $6.

And just for fun, here's a belly pic (where I have a really strange look on my face...I was focusing on trying to get a good shot...still don't think I accomplished it).

21 weeks

I think "love of food" is genetic

A few days ago while we were eating lunch, Stephen was explaining a new food he had tried at his Nonny's house.

"Mama, it was so good, I had to close my eyes while I ate it."

That's my boy.

The new ornament on our tree